Lotharia

by Beauty Queen Autopsy

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03:24
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04:34
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credits

released 30 June 2015

Music/Lyrics: Matt Fanale
Vocals: Erica Mulkey
Mixed by Tom Shear
Mastered by Eric Oehler

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Beauty Queen Autopsy San Francisco, California

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Track Name: Good, Giving, Game
I know every filthy little secret from your dirty little mind
Every wicked thought, scenarios defined
And if I don't get what I want then why am I here?
Lock eyes pretty pretty there's nothing to fear

And I know
this is what you want
And I know
this is what you need
And you know
that I'm not afraid
And it's better to give than to receive

Cuz I'm good, I'm giving, I'm game
Just two in a room there's no need for shame
I'm good, I'm giving, I'm game
And if you knew what was good for you you'd say the same

You're my daily grind
You're my call to port
I'm your twisted muse
I'm your pumping heart
I've tasted your damage promise I won't tell
I don't know your soul but you wear your darkness well

And I know
you want to eat me alive
And I know
I can make you plead
And you know
this is what I'm craving
And it's better to give than to receive

It's better to give than to receive x 2

Cuz I'm good, I'm giving, I'm game
Just two in a room there's no need for shame
I'm good, I'm giving, I'm game
And if you knew what was good for you you'd say the same
Track Name: Spread
CHORUS
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say you do
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say you do
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say we’re through
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say you do

Shut your mouth
and give me my medicine
Please don’t stop
I’ll be your model citizen
Oh my god
Baby what you do to me
Cross my heart
You’re going in my diary
Watch your tongue
Cuz I’m still shaking
Watch my hips
I know you do
Don't apologize
I'm not complaining
I'm the girl for you

But don't say you want her
Don’t say you do
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say you do
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say we’re through
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say you do

Don’t look down when you’re talking to me
Look me in the eyes as a courtesy
Don’t look down when you’re talking to me
I know her name

Watch your tongue
Cuz I’m still shaking
Read my lips
Did you think this through?
Watch your tongue
Cuz I'm not waiting
Don’t say it’s true

Don’t say you want her
Don’t say you do
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say you do
Don’t say you want her
Don’t say we’re through
Don’t say you love her
Don’t say you do

You left me staring at a painting in a motel room
Staring at a painting in a motel room
Staring at a painting in a motel room
Don’t say it’s true
Track Name: Contaminate Me (Dirty Thoughts)
you're a dying light my shadow's chasing
you're a part of me that I can't replace and
I tried but it's not that easy
I've never been one to just let things go

and all my thoughts are contaminated by you
by you why you?
and you deserve the worst of my but why do I do all this for you?
you deserve the worst of me but how can I stand by and watch you leave?

all these dirty thoughts going through my head
all these dirty thoughts of what we did and said
these dirty thoughts as I'm in my bed
oh baby you contaminate me

you're my phantom limb
and you're still underneath my skin
you're my phantom limb
oh baby how you contaminate me

all these dirty thoughts going through my head
all these dirty thoughts of what we did and said
these dirty thoughts as I'm in my bed
oh baby you contaminate me

all these dirty thoughts
all these dirty thoughts
all these dirty thoughts
all these dirty thoughts please come and save me
and all my thoughts are contaminated by you why you why you
you deserve the worst of me but how can I stand by and watch you leave?
Track Name: Dorothy Parker Had Days Like This
Dorothy Parker Had Days Like This
 
I’m crying my eyes out in a dark parking lot
Locked in my chamber with the windows up
It’s all too much and I can’t make it stop
It just keeps coming
I’ve tried to drink, drug, and fuck you away
And the razor blade helps control the pain
I know it’s not right but it’s still a way
But it still keeps coming
 
It keeps coming
It keeps coming, oh god
It just keeps coming
It keeps coming
It’s a tsunami, why don’t you want me?
How can you pretend I don’t exist?
It’s a tsunami, why don’t you want me?
Dorothy Parker had days like this
 
I’m crying my eyes out in a dark parking lot
The flood waters rising, stomach in knots
Every fiber and every thought
It just keeps coming
You said it’s not you it’s me, well obviously
And I want to be strong, you and what army
But the pit keeps hollowing inside of me
And it just keeps coming
 
It’s a tsunami, why don’t you want me?
How can you pretend I don’t exist?
It’s a tsunami, you’ll always haunt me
Dorothy Parker had days like this
 
I don’t know what I did
And I don’t know what changed
All I know is I can’t stop the pain
And I don’t know what I did
I don’t know what changed
All I know is I’ll never be the same again

I tried with a bottle in front of me
Now I'm ready for a frontal lobotomy
 
It just keeps coming…
Track Name: Birthday Pony
You look so good to me x 3
You'd be so good to me

CHORUS
I want you to be my birthday pony
I want you to be my spider ring
I want you to be my favorite sundae
I want you to be my everything

You look so good to me x 2
You'd be so good for me x 2

I want you to be my birthday pony
I want you to be my spider ring
I want you to be my favorite sundae
I want you to be my everything

It's not so complicated for us x 3
It's not so complicated in lust

CHORUS x 3, but in the last line of the last chorus:
I want to be your anything
Track Name: Methadone
METHADONE

I’m through with this methadone
It won’t do I’d rather be alone
I tried you out but you weren’t enough
You’re just a poor substitute for the one I love

Desperate times call for desperate pleasures
But baby this hole still grows
And they say it’ll soon get better
But what the hell do they ever know?

And it’s hard/to fall
When you know/it’s your fault
But I’ll rise/and stand tall
I just gotta get through with this withdrawal

I’m done with this methadone
It won’t work I’d rather be alone
Don’t make me laugh you were never the one
You could never replace the one I want

And I wish I could say it wasn’t me
I wish there was a way I could pretend
But I know I did wrong so I’ll beg and plead
Please come back to me, my heroin.

And it’s hard/to fall
When you know/it’s your fault
But I’ll rise/and stand tall
I just gotta get through all your withdrawal

I’m done with this methadone
It won’t work I’d rather be alone
I tried you out but you weren’t enough
You’ll never compare to the one I love
Track Name: Lotharia
I'm the one x 8

I'm the one that you can't resist
the abbreviated name on your contact list
I'm the one that you can't deny
the ghost in your head when she's by your side
I'm the one that you'll never keep
the one you're begging for yeah in your sleep
Cuz I'm the one that knows your pain
Gimme four on the floor and I'll take it away

Writhing in ecstacy x8

I'm the one x 8

I'm your new religion baby
I'm your twist of fate
I'll leave my mark inside you baby
You'll never forget my face

No you'll never
No you'll never
No you'll never forget my face
No you'll never
No you'll never
No you'll never forget my face

I'm the one x 3
One and done and I've had my fun
I'm the one x 3
One and done and I've had my fun

No you'll never
No you'll never
No you'll never forget my face
No you'll never
No you'll never
No you'll never forget your place
Track Name: Pumps
Tonight I’m breathing fire
Tonight I’m a Molotov
Tonight I’m burning brightest
Tonight I’m a cannonball

And I’m dressed to the nines
And it’s way past ten
And you look really good
But what happens next well that depends

Cuz your approval don’t mean much to my self esteem
And these fuck me pumps don’t come guaranteed
Play your cards right and then we’ll see
Cuz these fuck me pumps don’t come guaranteed

I don’t need you to come
I'm just here to have me fun
But I’m glad I’ve got your attention
Cuz I’m a rocket queen when all’s said and done

And if you get a pass you’ll ride for free
But these fuck me pumps don’t come guaranteed
Play your cards right and then we’ll see
Cuz these fuck me pumps don’t come guaranteed

Let’s have one for the road
One for the road
They made last call, the lights are up
So it’s time to get stoned
Let’s have one for the road
One for the road
The bar may be closed but the night’s not over
So I think you should know
Tonight I’m breathing fire
Tonight I’m a Molotov
Tonight I’m supernova
Tonight I want it all
Track Name: The Taxidermist
 
I collect broken hearts
and yours is no exception
dissect the parts
and marvel at the selection
no visible scars
but the pain will be explicit
I'll leave you raw
but my stitching is exquisite
 
It's not fair
I don't care
know this
I am the taxidermist
 
It's not right
that's life
don't resist
I am the taxidermist
 
I collect damaged hearts
trophies for my mantle
pull you apart
to see what you can handle
and I know it's sick
when there's been no provocation
it's just my defense
my nature's self preservation
 
Given the chance
you'd do the same to me
Given the chance
you'd do the same to me
Given the chance
you'd do the same to me
At least that's what I've learned
from my history
 
It's not fair
I don't care
know this
I am the taxidermist
 
It's not right
that's life
don't resist
I am the taxidermist
 
I collect broken hearts
and yours is no exception
dissect the parts
and marvel at the selection
no visible scars
but the pain will be explicit
I'll leave you raw
but my stitching is exquisite
 
My stitching is exquisite
Track Name: Petit Mort
I won't apologize for my desire
and I won't pretend
that I feel shame for what transpired
or that I won't do it again

what did she say?
what did he say?
what did they say?
what do we say?
what did she say?
what did he say?
what did they say?
what do we say?
what did she say?
what did he say?
what did they say?
what do we say?
I feel no shame, cuz

every moment was so sacred
every moment I was naked
this is not what I call love
this is not what I call love
every moment was so sacred
every moment I was naked
this is not what I call love
this is not what I call love

I'm sick of all this high school bullshit
these silly, petty, childish games
I'm fed up with this idle gossip
We're grown ups now doing grown up things

every moment was so sacred
every moment I was naked
this is not what I call love
this is not what I call love
every moment was so sacred
every moment I was naked
this is not what I call love
this is not what I call love

You say you only live once but I died a thousand times in you
in you
in you
in you

every moment was so sacred
every moment I was naked
this is not what I call love
this is not what I call love
every moment was so sacred
every moment I was naked
this is not what I call love
this is not what I call love

what did she say?
what did he say?
what did they say?
what do we say?
what did she say?
what did he say?
...Oh fuck it.
Track Name: We Libertines
we libertines we live your dreams
we throw them in the hamper
I wanna know what turns you on

we libertines cop benzedrines
lose our mind howling like Ginsberg
I wanna know what turns you on

trace my name on your back
sometimes I don't hear words when you're speaking
I wanna know what turns you on

you wanna dish it out I can take it
one word and then you'll see
I wanna know what gets you off

what makes you tick what turns you?
what makes you tick what turns you?
what makes you tick what turns you on?
what makes you tick what turns you?
what makes you tick what turns you?
what makes you tick what turns you on?

we flow like wine

we libertines we're serpentine
our trysts play in the shadows
I wanna know what turns you on
we libertines we live extremes
our crimes beg for the gallows
I wanna know what turns you on

what makes you tick what turns you?
what makes you tick what turns you?
what makes you tick what turns you on?
what makes you tick what turns you?
what makes you tick what turns you?
what makes you tick what turns you on?

we flow like
we flow like
we flow like wine
we flow like
we flow like
we flow like wine

what turns you on?
what turns you on?
what turns you
what turns you
what turns you on?
what turns you
what turns you
what turns you on?
what turns you
what turns you
what turns you on?

we libertines, we libertines
I wanna know what turns you on
we libertines, we libertines
I wanna know what turns you on
Track Name: The Devil You Don't
You strode naked to the bathroom in all your middle aged glory, entirely more proud of yourself than the act warranted. You turned the shower on, humming some delicate song that I’d never heard before. I wrapped the top sheet, which smelled faintly of lavender, and scanned your bedroom. I wandered over and looked in your wife’s closet, predictably frightening. A fashion nightmare. Immediately I understood every disinterested moment of your lives together. She had a jewelry tree on her dresser—of course she did—and as I opened the top drawer and rifled through her not-so-delicates I came upon her engagement ring. It was plain but heartfelt, reminiscent of youth in love in a time you wouldn’t have even contemplated this kid-wife crisis that left you in a bar hopelessly trying to fit in and mispronouncing 20 year aged Scotch to a bartender half your age. But there was something awkwardly adorable about it, and I liked your eyes, so I chose you for my early evening fun.

I put your wife’s ring on and dropped the sheet, taking a selfie with my phone mimicking the look of rapturous surprise she must have had when you first proposed all those years ago. I sent it to you a week later, after the thrill of your conquest had worn off and the fear of being discovered by your family has subsided, to remind you who the wolf truly was.

The water turned off. I placed the ring back into the drawer of stretched, beige panties and returned to the bed, pausing only for a moment to look at a picture of you stuffed rather uncomfortably into a NASCAR number giving a hearty thumbs up, undoubtedly a birthday gift to show you’re still young at heart. And you are. Desperately.

I returned to the bed to play the anxiously awaiting maiden, one soft, bare leg over the sheet to let you know what you left behind. You stepped out of the bathroom and smiled, sucking in your gut under your bathrobe. I smiled back, and rose for my turn in the bathroom sans sheet, passing you and dragging a finger along your chest on the way. The late day sun was shining through the window silhouetting my form, my curves, elegantly. I knew you were watching. I heard you pick up your watch to make sure there was still time to enjoy this, to let the fantasy continue. To remember this. And remember it you always, always will, just like I’ll always remember the look on your face as I used your wife’s toothbrush to wash…you…out…of…my…mouth.

You made a quiet protest, but thou did not protesteth too much, as I know the anger at the slight…my disrespect…passed quickly, and turned into a thrill for you. And most importantly I knew that when you recounted this story for years to come to your work cohorts, your confidants, your gym buddies, that you will revel and relish this twisted little part of the story more than any other.

I just gave you the icing on your…cake.